In the Bleak Midwinter a joke to raise a cheer……

In the Bleak Midwinter a joke to raise a cheer……

joke 1

Just thought you might appreciate a funny golf story to make you chuckle on a cold, bleak February day.

Does this story remind you of anyone you have played with…………..

While sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Padraig remarked to a fellow club member’, I’m not going to play golf with Jim Lawler anymore. He cheats.’

‘Why do you say that?’ asked his friend.Joke 2

‘Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green’, replied Padraig indignantly.

‘That’s entirely possible’, commented his friend.

‘Not when I had his golf ball in my pocket’, retorted Padraig with finality.

Some Great Caddy Comments


  1. Golfer: Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.
    Caddy: Thinkyou can keep your head down that long?
  2. Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
    Caddy: Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.
  3. Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
    Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.
  4. Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
    Caddy: Eventually.
  5. Golfer: You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.
    Caddy: I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.
  6. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.
    Caddy: It’s not a watch – it’s a compass.
  7. Golfer: How do you like my game?
    Caddy: Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.
  8. Golfer: Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
    Caddy: The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.
  9. Golfer: This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.
    Caddy: This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.
  10. Golfer: That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.
    Caddy: It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.

(Jokes and storys from

Why not come and cheer yourself up a bit more by booking a lesson with me and make sure you are not the butt of a funny story this year!!

Mark Wood

PGA Advanced Professional
Worlds Leading Expert on Curing a Shank

The Best Golf Lessons in Sussex and Kent.

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